Posts

Showing posts from June, 2022

The Mask

  I got pregnant for the first time when I was 21 years old.   I was not married, I had no job, and it was clear from the beginning that I was going to be a single parent.   As crazy as that might sound, I knew I wanted to have the baby.   I knew I could raise this child with love and purpose.   I started working and, by the time Luna was six, I had found love again.   The second time I became pregnant I was 28; this time, I was beside myself with happiness.   We bought a house, got married, and we took our time making a beautiful nursery for Lia.   The third time I got pregnant I was 41. I had a good job, a stable family, tons of support, except this time, I was not happy.   Everything about my body felt wrong.   The year before, I had been hospitalized because of a blood clot in my lung, so now I had to inject daily blood thinners to prevent a reoccurrence during gestation.  Being over 40 meant going to a high-risk clinic. I was miserable.  I thought about having an abortion, but t